Darkness Series : Oh Mondays...
To Be Honest,
I'm not quite sure how to start this.
I feel like I've been stressing out way too much about writing lately. Writing music, writing blog posts, writing all those gosh [darn] e-mails... that I haven't been posting much lately. Often when I plan time to write, I'm suddenly in the mood to sing. And when I'm finally starting to get my own work done, of course that's when I get a casting notice that I actually need to respond to. Finding a balance between creating and journaling about this process I call life... is proving to be quite difficult.
Truly I just miss the good ol' days...
When I started writing to the internet, [ you know, back in the days of LiveJournal and AIM Away messages... ] I found myself writing the most when I was upset, depressed, and well, in need of attention. I was so happy to connect with people that were willing to talk things through and listen. But then slowly, as the world transitioned to using facebook to express themselves, I was so turned off by people who were negative all the time in their posts and quickly made the decision to keep my complaining to a minimum on the internet. [ because that's what twitter is for 💁 #duh ] However, in doing so I unintentionally shielded the world from... my bad days. In fact, I feel like there are very few people in my life that see "the real me".
UGH, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not always sunshine and rainbows... but you would never know it because I never share it. I am a firm believer of leaving your drama at the door (especially in the work place) and frankly, I am always one to arrive prepared. It's weird, whenever I'm on my way to a job I always take a moment to look up and take a deep breath before I walk through the door, but when I'm on my own on those days where I don't feel my best, I often have a hard time getting started. And after spending almost 4 months after my knee surgery cooped up in my apartment... Let me tell you:
Depression is real.
This morning, I literally laid in bed until 12PM stressed out about the giant list of things I needed to get done, only to then finally get going just when I realized I needed to leave for an appointment at 12:30PM, and still hadn't gotten around to making breakfast yet... awesome. I have so much I am trying to accomplish day to day, and while I hate to still blame my injury I still feel moderate pain in my knee after only remotely strenuous activity, which causes my mood fluctuate wayyyy to easily. Currently, I am working on editing [somewhat] weekly videos, getting ready for a vacation this Thursday that I'm determined to pack for BEFORE the day of this time (but of course haven't actually started yet...), and even though I'm afraid to share this with you in fear that my time management will get this best of me... I'm working on recording an album for release in February.
So I bring to you:
The Darkness Series.
The Darkness Series: A series of photos that are a little bit darker in nature, in color, or perhaps are just to prove the point that we all have bad days.
SIDE NOTE: Please don't think that this means that my blog is going to turn into a sappy mess, but instead know that I am just going to continue to be real.
As one of my favorite mentors Mary Jarvis always says:
"There's always a dark before the dawn."
And believe me, I'm looking forward to that dawn.